This Feminist tries to get into Loving Men

After dominating my life for the past few weeks my Women’s Studies senior thesis is done! Thank God. However it is kinda shit. Well the research part is. My paper was entitled Loving Men: A Look at Second and Third Wave Female Feminist Views of Relationships with Men. Oh the excitement. It was originally due last Tuesday but because of the shitty week I was having and the fall out I had with Brian I was not ready to write about feminists and men. If I tried it would have turned out very, very bitter. I talked to my professor and she gave me an extension till Friday. However, it didn’t get done then either. So I stayed up all night last night and finished it and turned it in today.

Actually, I did find doing the paper therapeutic. In doing all of this research it brought me to the conclusion that I am not alone in my feelings and confusions about feminism and men. I read about all the other feminists who were having trouble striking a balance between their feminism and their heterosexuality. It has been hard to balance my feminist beliefs with my desire for a male partner. I understand how the patriarchy works and sometimes I feel I am bowing to it when I craw into bed with a person with a penis.
Marilyn Frye (a feminist scholar) also gives this very telling observation, “feminism, which is thoroughly anti-patriarchal, is not compatible with female heterosexuality, which is thoroughly patriarchal.” This is very true. Feminism is based on female camaraderie and sometimes friends and the companionship of other women is all you need. Other times though, it is not quite enough. Sometimes you just want to snuggle with something male.

Anyway, back to my project. The first part (of Chapter three) was all research but I wanted to end it with something creative. I am also an English major remember. So I decided to do something in the vain of a lot of the readings I was doing. A lot of current writings are personal stories from women about their lives and their loves. So I wrote a personal narrative about my struggle to balance my feminism with my love of a man. It actually turned out fairly well in my opinion. It gave me a chance to reflect and to cry (not really the best thing when your trying to write a paper at 4am) and to being the healing process. I am kinda proud of it so if you want to read it, just ask.

Ok this turned out very long and rambling. Sorry, about the feminist digression but that has been all that I have been thinking about lately. It’s weird to think that this is the last Women’s Studies paper I will ever write. But that is a thought for another day and another post.