How to be as Horny as a Guy

1) Skip one expendable girlie activity per day. Instead use the time to masterbate. Get good at it. Buy books on technique. Become a sexual dynamo.

2) Every time you go to the bathroom, touch your clitoris. Well hey- they tough their penises! Tell me that doesn’t change their attitude a little bit.

3) In your mind, replace all advertising images made to titillate men with images made to titillate you. Every ad that you see that has a sexy women in it, imagine the ad with a man instead.

4) Ogle men. Check out dude’s bods. Assertively seek out sexy butts, chests, legs, packages, etc.

5) Drink booze and smoke pot.

6) Wear comfortable clothes. How can you be “in the mood” when you’re hobbling down the street in heels with your underwear riding up your butt?

7) Eliminate the fear of STD’s and pregnancy. Keep condoms with you at all times.

8) Get together with your girlfriends and talk about sex and men. Work yourself up then go out hunting.

9) Have orgasms every time you have sex. Before him, with him, next to him, alone in the bathroom, whatever.

10) Watch porn.

~This is by Lady J. and can be found in The BUST Guide to the New Girl Order edited by Marcelle Karp and Debbie Stoller. Grab the book and read more in-depth on each tip. Trust me it is a lot more fun then doing your class work.