What Was I Thinking??

You know what’s fun when you are having a bad week? Something else to come along and kick you in the head. That is exactly what happened to me today when I found out that I possibly wasn’t going to graduate in August, I will probably find out for sure by Monday. I hate money. That’s all I have to say about that for now.

So anyway I am taking 21 credits this semester. Five of the seven classes are 400 level English classes, one is a 200 level English class, and the last is my Women’s Studies senior seminar. The Senior Seminar is the one I mentioned before about picking a new topic for. (Which, by the way, if you have any ideas for the paper that you would like to pass on to me that would be great.) That class is just one big, as in 50-100 pages big, paper. That you write in basically 2 ½ months. So let me break everything down for you, that usually averages out to about six stories, books, or plays a week along with two or three papers and doing research for and typing that big paper. To add to all the fun I also work two jobs.

“You’re insane!!” you say? Yeah well I am starting to agree. In view of that, I decided to drop a class. I think I could probably still do all the work but I am stressed enough as it is so why not make my life a little easier. Also, I can take it over the summer without any trouble, so what’s one more class when you already have three. I think this is an excellent idea. Hopefully I will feel better about life but dropping this class also means that I won’t have to write a paper tonight. Hehe.

I Should Have Stayed in Bed

Some weeks it just doesn’t pay to leave the house. First, I (and thousands of my fellow Penn Staters) braved the weather and trudged out to class. Now this really doesn’t bother me that much, I am from Central PA after all, however the university should know about the weather here also. If there going to make us go to class for gods sakes they should plow the sidewalks!!! It’s not safe out there. It made me wish I was still in High School; at least they have had three days off. Well, that’s PSU for ya.

So then to make the week perfect I found out that my thesis for my women’s studies cap class is not going to work. After I already started work on it. I have a week to pick a new topic or revise mine. Goodie.

Oh yeah, I also realized yet again that perhaps men are really just too much trouble. Why can’t relationships (or ending them) be easy?

And the worst part is that it’s only Wednesday.

There Must Be Something In the Air

So I found out the other day that my freshman year roommate is engaged. (Congratulations Krista!) It didn’t really affect me too much, it has been happening all around me. Everyone is in the marriage mood. Hell, my ex-roommate “The Bitch” got engaged on my birthday.

Well, then it happened, I found out one of my best friends from growing up is engaged. I was blown away. Now don’t get me wrong I’m very, very happy for him, I still care about the guy and want the best for him. However, this one knocked me on my ass.

He’s the first of my close friends to get married. I guess I’m reaching that age. Graduating from college, moving on and starting a new life; so why not start that new life with another person? Seems logical to me. Yet it made me reflect on my own life and the state of it. It’s odd because a year ago I would have said I thought I would be engaged shortly after I graduated. Or if not engaged at least planning on living with Brian and starting a future together. Isn’t it amazing what can happen in a year?

Anyway, on a positive note, I was invited to the wedding! It’s in July and it will give me an excuse to buy a new dress and look pretty. So, love ya and congratulations J. but remember I’ll have a fast car, with a full tank of gas, and one way plane tickets to Mexico, waiting outside the church just in case … :-)

Changes

So I guess I should give more background as to what has been happening to me the past few weeks. Well where do I start? A lot of stuff happened but I guess there are only two major things really worth mentioning. First I moved apartments. I know this doesn’t sound like that big of a deal, most college student’s move yearly anyway. However this move was unexpected. I had this wonderful, cheap apartment in an excellent location; it was wonderful, except for one thing. The roommate. To make a long story short after a semester of living with her I realized that for my sanity I had to move. Luckily, I found a nice place across town that is close to my classes. And my new roommate, Andrea, is pretty cool too.

The second big event is that Brian and I separated after over 2 years of being together. It’s odd to be no longer talking to the person that you had talked to every night and who was your lover and best friend; the person that you had lived with for a few months and thought about living with for the rest of your life. It’s painful letting go. It’s also not easy. Technically Brian and I are on a “break.” I guess neither of us wants to give up on the other that easily. We are spending some time apart and then we are going to see where we are and try to figure out what we want. As of right now I don’t know what I want. Or who I want it with. Hell, I don’t even know where I am going to be in seven month after I graduate and my apartment lease expires. But, I do know one thing, there is nothing for me here in Centre County.

So what do all these changes mean? I have no idea. Hopefully I will find some direction and figure out my life. Going into my senior year here I expected some panic at the idea of the “real world,” the same as the panic the other thousands of other graduating seniors I am sure are experiencing. However, what I didn’t expect was to do it without Brian. I guess over these next few months I will find out a lot about me…

Beginnings

Isn't it amazing how much your life can change in a matter of a few weeks? You’re going along having a good time then BAM! something happens (or in my case several things happen) and suddenly your life is turned upside down. It’s odd because this is supposed to be the last part of my life here at PSU, and Centre County for that matter, before I pack up and move on. However, now it feels like I am starting over, about seven months before I am supposed to. And this is only the beginning….