A New Year, A New Tattoo

One thing that I have decided to do come the New Year is get a new tattoo. I need something to close out the horrible year I had and start fresh and I figure another tattoo is the way to go. First off, this is my current tattoo. It’s on my lower back and I got it at the end of my freshman year in college.

I originally thought of just adding to this one, but it is rather large and I don’t know what to add.

I have some ideas for a second one but I am having trouble deciding what I want and where I want it. Here are some ideas.

Top of my list an ouroboros. And ouroboros is typically represented by a serpent eating its tail and is chock full of all the symbolism I am looking for in my new tattoo.

Here is an brief description from http://www.dragon.org/chris/ouroboros.html.

"The ouroboros has several meanings interwoven into it. Foremost is the symbolism of the serpent biting, devouring, eating its own tail. This symbolizes the cyclic Nature of the Universe: creation out of destruction, Life out of Death. The ouroboros eats its own tail to sustain its life, in an eternal cycle of renewal.In the above drawing (on the web page), from a book by an early Alchemist, Cleopatra, the black half symbolizes the Night, Earth, and the destructive force of nature, yin. the light half represents Day, Heaven, the generative, creative force, yang.Alchemically, the ouroboros is also used as a purifying glyph."

The only downside that I can find is that it was featured prominently in an episode of The X-Files (Scully got one). And no matter how much I love the show, I really don’t want to be one of “Those People.” Also it was the symbol of the TV show “Millennium.”

Other option are some goddess symbols. Here are two I am considering:

The first represents the Maiden, Mother, and the Crone with a waxing, full, and crescent moon. It would be a good balance to the sun on my lower back. (now I can't get the pics to load... grrr)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/76/Triple-Goddess-Waxing-Full-Waning-Symbol.png

The second is a typical goddess symbol (this is a necklace, but you get the idea).

http://www.mandarava.com/A1grph/ngph/n_graphics/nck031.JPG

Along these lines is the female symbol.

Now, I like all of these designs but they have a downside. They are a bit, ummm… butch. I have a degree in Women’s Studies. I really don’t need any more help with people thinking I am a lesbian. I can scare men enough with my big mouth.

Another option is a large colorful design on my ankle. Like something that would go a bit up my calf.

http://www.tattooartists.org/Gal2983_Lilly.asp

Or has anyone seen the Michelle K shoes magizine ad? If you have, I want something like that.

My last idea is a design of my initials, HNL, that a friend drew for me.

The places I am thinking of placeing my new body art are ankle, wrist, or between my shoulder blades.

And again, perhaps adding to my current tattoo.

So anyway, I am a bit stuck and could use some help. Any votes for these would be useful. Also, new ideas are also accepted. As well as any original drawings. Please help a sista out.

Oh yeah, I am also thinking of getting my nipple pierced…

Harder Then I Thought

Christmas was a lot harder to get through then I thought it would be (see Dec 20th post). *sigh*

So today I spent some time on myself. I went and had a pedicure and manicure. Had my hair colored (it’s AMAZING) and cut (a BIT to short, but if a few weeks it will be fine). Saw a movie. Bought some new make up. And skipped going to the gym.

I guess I am feeling a bit better; I’m no longer on the verge of tears at every little thing.

Let’s just say that I’m looking forward to getting out of here for a few days...

This entry was a bit scarttered. I'll post a better one tomorrow.

Happy Updates

Wow, I actually didn’t mean to be such a Christmas Scrooge this year; But thank you for the outpouring of kindness and well wishes both here and elsewhere. It's nice to feel cared for. So anyway, here are some happy updates:

• Went X-mas shopping with my Mom. My mom is as crazy as I am, so always a good time

• The 14 dozen cookies I baked are already gone. Actually, they were gone yesterday. So, now I will bake more. See, my cookies are good!
  
  
• Joined a gym and am actually going! (good thing with all those cookies)
  
  
• Went to my brother’s chorus concert. I had flashbacks to High School…
  
  
• I bought a white velvet blazer, some new sweaters and funky necklaces, a really hot silver top that makes my boobs look AMAZING, and berry colored high heels. Merry Christmas to me!
  
  
• Bought my tix to Chicago for New Years. Now I need to find someone for midnight…
  
  
• My mother found a kitten abandoned outside of the local store. So, in living in the Christmas spirit, she brought it home. We named him Kris Kringle and he is a sweetheart, seen here helping my brother make his bed, well, looking adorable and not moving so he can make it...

So, anyway, have a Very Happy Holiday everyone no matter where you are.

Trying...

Christmas. I usually love Christmas. The presents, the lights, hot chocolate, Christmas trees, and the time spent with friends and family. But this year, this year, I don’t have much Christmas spirit. I guess a few things could be the root of it.

First, this is the first Christmas without B. in 4 years and despite all of the amazingly awful things he put me through (you have no idea), I kind of miss him. And I still haven’t been able to delete his phone number from my cell. I know it should be a relatively easy task. You know, scroll to it, hit options, then delete… easy right? Yeah, well. It’s amazing how much a number can fuck with a gal.

The other reason for my lack of Christmas merriment is this is the first Christmas with out my Dad. Christmas was my Fathers favorite holiday. He always made a HUGE deal about it. Big tree. Lots of lights. Also, he was Santa Clause. No really, he was Santa Clause. He worked at our local community hospital and for over 30 years, every year at Christmas he would dress up as Santa Clause and go visit the workers and the patents. And God, the stories he came back with; the terminally ill child who gave him probably their last Christmas present list or bringing a smile to an elderly patent who didn’t have much reason to smile that Christmas. Besides going around the hospital, people would ask him to come visit their kids, he also did lap duty at a local club, as well as the Christmas pageant at our church. My Dad had a big heart and a great love of Christmas that he loved to share with those around him.

As hard as this all has been, I am trying to make the best of it all. So, I have listened to Christmas music and even sang along! Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly… Fa la la la la la la la la. I sent out Christmas cards. And, I even went on a cookie baking frenzy today. Mmmmm… cookies….

So, I am trying. Really. I am trying.

Platonic

I need another platonic guy friend like I need a fucking hole in the head...


Do I have a sign on my back that says:

"Hey, be my friend with no romantic implications! I LOVE IT!"


Yeah, that's what I thought.

The Lesson Here is... Be Careful Who You are Cybering With

Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!

"I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would. "But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock of our lives. I mean, I didn't know what to say. All I could think was, 'Oh my God! it's Mama!' "

read whole story:
http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20051209/113414040002.html

Cards?

I need to start working on my Holiday cards to send out. They need to go out by Monday. I bought the damn things weeks ago and have I done them yet? Nooooo.

Anyway, if you would love to receive a card from me... and I know you do... let me know and we will figure out a way for me to get your address.

This means even all of you I only know through Blogger. 'Cause Blogger friends need Holiday love as well!

Damn It! I Gotta Remember to Not Swear Around the Kids!!

On Tues night my mom called while I was on my way out of the gym (yes, thats right, I joined a gym! but that will have to wait for another blog) and she told me that she wasn't going to be able to chaperone my sisters class trip to NYC the next day. So, since the trip was already paid for and they still needed another chaperone and I am a legal adult... I was in!

So I was up at 3:30am, on the bus by 5am, and off we went! It was odd being a chaperone for a high school trip. It seems like only yesterday that I was going on these trips for school. Now I was responsible for making sure the group of highschoolers assigned to me didn't get lost or mugged in NYC. It was kind of surreal. I was an ADULT. Scary.

Anyway, we went walked around a bit, went to St. Patrick's Catherdreal, then went to The Radio City Music Hall's Rockettes Christmas Spectacular! Oh the excitement.

Look dancing Santa's!!

Finally, we hopped back onto the bus and went to Ground Zero. Here is a picture of the girls in my group at the site. I told them to look solemn. This was a sad place!

Obviously, they didn't listen.

Anyway, all in all we had a good time. The kids really liked me. I was the cool chaperone. No surprises there... ;-)

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EDIT: My sister just told me that the hot school librarian I met on the trip yesterday was asking her about me at school today...

Nicknames

I give all of my conquests/dates nicknames. Such as Hooters, Muffin Man, Daddy Brad, Baseball Player, Five Minute Man, Hoover, etc.

I like Nicknames.

It means that I don't have to remember their real ones...

My Kitten Likes Conan...

Life of the Unemployed

So I am now about two and a half weeks into my unemployment. And I am already a little bored. I have basically sat around and done nothing for the past few weeks. Not even really start looking for a new job. First of all, I needed the rest. I was at my wits end by the end of my job. I was ready to move on and it was time.

However, I was going at about 100 miles per hour (the job required it) and dropped to about 5 miles per hour. It was a bit of a shell shock to say the least. I still can’t quite believe I did it. Just quit my job without a real plan. At least I have some money saved up.

Anyway, I went back to Wilkes Barre this weekend to get the rest of my stuff that was hanging out in crates in one of my former co-workers hotel room. It was really nice to see her. One thing that I will really miss about my job was the people that I worked with. I worked with some of the most amazing, dedicated, and friendly group of people. I will miss them all and I made some great friends. Two especially. The first is a woman who came onto staff after I did and someone who I think I may have been separated at birth from; an incredible feminist, a hard, dedicated and smart worker, and a good friend. The other woman is a few years older then me. She was my first teacher at my job and then became so much more. We ended up living in the same hotel down the hall from each other for 11 months and a great friendship developed. She turned into a surrogate mom or the older sister I never had. She helped me develop my work skills, gave me advice about the job, men, and life in general and was there for me after my dad died. We would go to lunch or stay up late and compare love lives or lack of them. She was more then my lead, she is my friend.

That is probably what I will miss the most about my job. The comradely I had with the amazing people I worked with.

I’m a Dating Slut OR Guys in Their 20’s are Pussies

Seriously, what the fuck?!?! So, here is the deal. I have been out on a lot of dates lately and when I say a lot, I mean, a lot, like around 15-20 dates in the last two months… hence, I am a dating slut. It’s true when they say, “You gotta kiss a lot of frogs…”

Anyway, all have been ok, some there has been no chemistry, which is fine. That happens. Some like me and I don't like them, fine. Some I like and they aren't into me. Also fine. And there are ones that just want to get into my pants; like the guy with my favorite line ever, “If you asked me back to your place, I wouldn’t say no.” But then there are the ones that are good. Good chemistry, willing to go out again, they act interested, they SAY they are interested, and really want to get to know me better and see me again.

Then never call.

What The Fuck is With That???? Seriously. I have had this happen THREE TIMES recently. THREE! Why would a guy say they are interested and say that they will call... even going as far as to set up another time to meet; then not call. I give it a few days, then call them once, and see what happens. Usually nothing. Ugh. And what is with this trend?? Once would be bad enough, but three?! I know I have been on a lot of dates lately, but come on! Is there something wrong with me? Or them?

I have taken a survey of my friends. One guy told me that they are scared. Scared of what?? If they don’t want to go out again, fine! Just say so! Another guy told me that they are second guessing themselves. Think about how it went later and finding fault in me or themselves because they don’t really want to be in a relationship. But I think one of my female friends, who has had some similar experiences (thank god, I am not the only one!), has it right when she says that guys in their twenties are pussies. Seriously. Grow the fuck up. Grow some balls and tell me when you are not interested. So anyway, any insight would be great; both male and female, but especially male. Cause again, seriously guys, what the fuck?!?!

In a Mood...

In a mood.

It may be because I am PMSing.

I hate men.

So, an oldie but a goodie for ya all...

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I want you to know I'm happy for you

I wish nothing but the best for you both

An older version of me

Is she perverted like me

Would she go down on you in a theater

Does she speak eloquently

And would she have your baby

I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

'Cause the love that you gave that we made

wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no

And every time you speak her name

Does she know how you told me you'd hold me

Until you died, 'til you died

But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you

Of the mess you left when you went away

It's not fair to deny me

Of the cross I bear that you gave to me

You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful

I'm not quite as well,

I thought you should know

Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity

I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner

It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced

And now you're thinking of me when you fuck her

'Cause the love that you gave that we made

wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no

And every time you speak her name

Does she know how you told me you'd hold me

Until you died, 'til you died

But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you

Of the mess you left when you went away

It's not fair to deny me

Of the cross I bear that you gave to me

You, you, you oughta know

'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me

And I'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes

And you know it

And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back

I hope you feel it...well can you feel it
And I'm here to remind you

Of the mess you left when you went away I

It's not fair to deny me

Of the cross I bear that you gave to me

You, you, you oughta know

And I'm here to remind you

Of the mess you left when you went away

It's not fair to deny me

Of the cross I bear that you gave to me

You, you, you oughta know